This concept can sound easy but it has so many layers. There is the initial thought of saying to yourself "yeah, who cares what anyone thinks." But then you still do things in your day to day life based on what others think of you. For example, if you ever hesitate to post something online after you were ready to hit that post button but then you hesitate or delete it, it's because you are thinking about what someone will think of you when you post it. Therefore, you do still care about what others think. No judgement here. I get it. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to say that example. I have done this a million times. It takes real practice and self reflection to get to a place where hitting that post button without hesitation feels amazing. I have just got to this point in my life.
Let me explain.
I have gone through phases of "not caring". Let's stick with the posting on social media example. There were times where I would post something and not care but that is only because I was making mediocre posts. Or posts that were nothing serious or heavy or fully the truth of what was really going on. Therefore, I convinced myself that I didn't care. And I didn't. But thats because I was only at the tip of the iceberg of sharing the true crazy of which I call life. Now, you will start to see some real life shit. The real crazy things my mind thinks of.
I want to live in such a way that when a thought comes to my mind and I want to share it, I will now do so without hesitation because I am now at a point where I really don't care what you think. This is my life. This is my truth and if you don't like, then don't read it. Plane. and. simple.
It is not easy to get to this point but the freeness of it all, is so refreshing. I grew up in a house where I was constantly told "What happens in this house, stays in this house." That was because there were lots of secrets to be kept. And I kept them. But now I get to live my own life and I will share what I want to share. My goal isn't to hurt anyone or bring up past mistakes of the people I call family. But it does mean that I need to stop feeling shame for things that were said to me or done to me that I had no control of. I will not hide in the darkness. I know my truth. I have found the happiness in myself that I deserve and I intend to grow more and more within myself so that I can be the best woman I can be.
Comments