I recently learned something about myself that I suppose I always knew, but I never took the time to really think about it. I value what people say more than their actions. Especially what people tell me specifically. When someone tells me they don't like me, I believe them. When someone says "I'll be right back." I expect them to come back. Now obviously there are nuances to pay attention to, but for the most part, if you say something to me, I will believe that is how you feel and what you mean.
Actions can be confusing. Anyone can buy gifts, get your mail, give you a ride or help you out. But words, they have meaning. It really can be as easy as a switch for me. If you lie to me, that is on you not me. If I get mad at you for not doing something you said you were going to do, how is that my fault? It can be really frustrating when you have expectations from people and then they don't follow through. It is probably one of the most difficult parts of any relationship with people. Both parties will have expectations based on the communication shared. When one party falls through on their part, it can damage the trust in that relationship. The more expectations are crushed, the more a person starts to lose faith in that person. Eventually, there will only be so much a person can take and then that friendship ends or that marriage. Maybe it's your sibling, parent or even your boss. We have all kinds of relationships with people. It is important that we do what we say and we continue to learn and grow.
It goes without saying that we all make mistakes. We all screw things up and we all lie sometimes. The important part is to make sure if we have someone in our lives we care about, we make the effort to keep that relationship, grow with it and nuture it. Some people will need more help then others. Some people are very damaged and have a hard time believing someone can actually love them and not hurt them. That is why my favorite quote is:
"Love me when I am at my worse, because that is when I need it the most."
People need to have more sympathy and understanding. We are all going through something. If you give people the benefit of the doubt, you might be pleasantly surprised how less angry you become in life.
Be Kind.
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