A Healing Journey

I didn't even realize I was falling apart again. I didn't realize I would once again be on a healing journey. Or maybe I am still healing? Maybe we are always healing from something.

It started about a year ago? If I am being honest, I am not really even sure. Maybe it's been even longer. When I really decided I was going to do whatever it took to be able to work from home and make my own schedule and my own rules, I also shifted something in my brain to make myself start asking, "Who are you, really?" ,"What do you want out of life?", "Where do you want to go in life?". Sure these sentences are very simple to write but the deep meanings made to come out of answering them are heavy.

I am someone who really likes the ability to control my own life. Of course this is unrealistic in so many ways, but I think you get the idea. I knew deep down I've always wanted to be more of a freelance worker. I'm a writer and a creator. This leads me to needing a schedule with flexibility and odd hours.

But lately, I found myself taking meetings with opportunities I know I don't want. I've lost sight of what I have worked so hard to get. I let money come before my happiness. Luckily, I controlled my impulsivity this time and I consulted with two of my very close friends who were able to remind me that I am going down a path that I worked so hard to get off of.

When I reflect back on these last few weeks, I am proud of myself in so many ways. Instead of jumping into something, I took time to talk it out with people who really know me, my husband included. I also controlled my impulsivity and took into consideration those conversations instead of shoving them aside. I am growing. I didn't even realize it until this very moment of writing it. I have been struggling with this for so long and here I am, seeing actual growth. Huge milestones.

I guess we are really healing forever. From all kinds of things. Recognizing growth within ourselves is so rewarding. I would recommend sitting down for a moment and think about where your growth is. The only person you should compare yourself with is you. Where were you yesterday compared to how you are today?

How To Begin Writing

This is the most common question I get these days now that I officially wrote and published my own book. I think people think there is some sort of secret. I know I thought I was missing something when I was writing. But the truth is, you just have to start. This is why in my writing group I now offer writing challenges. It is not necessarily about what you are writing. It is about doing the exercise to begin with.

If we want a flatter tummy we need to do sit ups every day right ? Same with writing. If you want to be a good writer, you need to write everyday. You need to exercise the brain. You need to just write instead of think. Kind of like what I am doing write now. When I started this post, I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to say. I just started with the first thing that came to my mind. If you think about what people ask you, it usually can be the thing you write about it. If someone asks you how to do something, chances are more people want to ask you too. They just don't.

I think they only thing more flattering than people buying my book and reviewing it for me, is those who ask me how they too can write a book like I did. That to me was a gift I didn't know I would get it. I honestly set out to write this book for me. I wanted to share my story. I knew that if I did, someone out there would realize they are not alone. They may even relate to the stories I shared. Turns out, I was right. I have had many people reach out and tell me how much they related to my stories. They even shared parts of their stories. They related to things I wish they couldn't. That just goes to show you how much people hide behind their sadness. It should tell you that your story matters too. The longer you wait to share it, the longer someone else feels alone.

So what are you waiting for? Share your story.

Start writing.

As The Year Closes...

This year has certainly been a year of growth for me. Its funny because I thought last year was the biggest growth year and then this year blew last year out of the water. I think thats the thing about growth, it's never ending. The more we seek it out, the bigger the things that happen and the more growth we see.

I have certainly made my fair share of mistakes this past year. I am willing to look back at them and reflect on why I made them and how I can move forward for this next year. For me, I like the idea of a fresh new start. The thing is, we can always make one when we want it! A fresh new Thursday, fresh new week, month, year, etc. Yes, we get to choose when we want a fresh new start. It is anytime. But somehow crossing over into a new year gets more people on the band wagon of a fresh start. That can be fun. You feel like you're not alone.

This past year I thought a lot about my own business and what I wanted to do. I changed my mind several times and watched so many videos on strategies and marketing and everything in between. I have learned so much. I have also learned that the only way to truly be successful, is to just be myself. So that is exactly what I plan to do. I am going to just do all of the things that I want to do. I want to have my own business and still be a business woman, but at the same time, I have learned that this also means I need to be doing the things that make me happy. I want to put out things that make me happy.

Here is to the new year and doing the things I love and sharing myself to the world. From this point forward, I am vowing to share more and do more things that I love and enjoy. I want to serve others who can benefit from the things I have learned . Maybe that means I want to be more like an influence? I am not sure how to define it. I just know I like sharing things that I do and helping those who need it!

Heres to 2023!🥂