How To Accomplish Your goals For 2023

Each year we get a new chance. A way to start over. Try new things, lose weight, exercise, read more etc. We all want to do all the things right?

The thing is, no matter what or how many goals we have, the important thing is knowing how to actually accomplish those goals otherwise, it's just all talk. I am going to enlighten you with the secret you have actually been looking for. The answer to why you never accomplish the goals you want. The reason why you just can't seem to get started.

Before you think "I know, its motivation. I have none." I am going to stop you there. It is NOT motivation. We all have motivation to want to do new things. We get all excited and make a plan and tell a friend and do all things but it still somehow doesn't happen.

Here is the real reason why you are stuck in your own demise.

The key to accomplishing your goals is changing your habits. We need to rewire our brain to do the things we don't normally do in order to accomplish the new things that we want to do. This my friends, is why many people do not actually succeed at accomplishing their goals. Our brains are programmed and are on autopilot. We can't just hit a reset button or unplug ourselves for 60 seconds and try again. We are way more complex than that. What we need to do is much more complicated. We need to know the reason behind what we want to change and why it would actually benefit us in the long run. We need to see the future of greatness of our achievements in order to put ourselves through the pain of the uncomfortableness we will be putting our bodies through in order to do something different.

Our human nature has now been designed to be comfortable and when we are not, we suffer. We self sabotage. We become depressed. We become negative. Ultimately, we go further away from our goal because we have decided our goal is too hard and we failed after only three days because we suck. We ruined the diet by going over 12 points and so we may as well just eat those nine cookies that are left because whatever, we already messed up so it doesn't matter. Right? We go in a downward spiral and don't know how to get out.

Sound familiar?

I know it does because I have been there too. I have had these thoughts all too often and if I don't keep my thoughts under control, I can get back there very easily. The reason why I have made so much change over the last two years, why my friends now call me "super mom", why the most common question I get these days is "How do you do it all?" is all because I changed my habits in order to accomplish the things I wanted.

The first thing I did was research on personal growth. I was having major anxiety issues and I was even diagnosed and put on medication. I knew I didn't want to rely on medication so I decided to find another way. I decided to learn about my anxiety and figure out how to handle it. I found Mel Robbins book "The Five Second Rule" and my life began to change. This book helped me change my habits and behaviors. It was the start of my journey.

My first suggestion for you is to start your personal growth journey. Take a look at yourself and decided what you want or need to work on internally within your soul. Do this before you decide you want to lose 50lbs or learn to speak Spanish. Figure out if you are totally happy with who you are as a person first. Figure out what selfcare habits you can make. Then you can begin to understand yourself better and you will be able to progress towards those other goals you have for yourself. As corny as it sounds, you need to believe in yourself first. You can do it. I promise!

A Healing Journey

I didn't even realize I was falling apart again. I didn't realize I would once again be on a healing journey. Or maybe I am still healing? Maybe we are always healing from something.

It started about a year ago? If I am being honest, I am not really even sure. Maybe it's been even longer. When I really decided I was going to do whatever it took to be able to work from home and make my own schedule and my own rules, I also shifted something in my brain to make myself start asking, "Who are you, really?" ,"What do you want out of life?", "Where do you want to go in life?". Sure these sentences are very simple to write but the deep meanings made to come out of answering them are heavy.

I am someone who really likes the ability to control my own life. Of course this is unrealistic in so many ways, but I think you get the idea. I knew deep down I've always wanted to be more of a freelance worker. I'm a writer and a creator. This leads me to needing a schedule with flexibility and odd hours.

But lately, I found myself taking meetings with opportunities I know I don't want. I've lost sight of what I have worked so hard to get. I let money come before my happiness. Luckily, I controlled my impulsivity this time and I consulted with two of my very close friends who were able to remind me that I am going down a path that I worked so hard to get off of.

When I reflect back on these last few weeks, I am proud of myself in so many ways. Instead of jumping into something, I took time to talk it out with people who really know me, my husband included. I also controlled my impulsivity and took into consideration those conversations instead of shoving them aside. I am growing. I didn't even realize it until this very moment of writing it. I have been struggling with this for so long and here I am, seeing actual growth. Huge milestones.

I guess we are really healing forever. From all kinds of things. Recognizing growth within ourselves is so rewarding. I would recommend sitting down for a moment and think about where your growth is. The only person you should compare yourself with is you. Where were you yesterday compared to how you are today?

How To Begin Writing

This is the most common question I get these days now that I officially wrote and published my own book. I think people think there is some sort of secret. I know I thought I was missing something when I was writing. But the truth is, you just have to start. This is why in my writing group I now offer writing challenges. It is not necessarily about what you are writing. It is about doing the exercise to begin with.

If we want a flatter tummy we need to do sit ups every day right ? Same with writing. If you want to be a good writer, you need to write everyday. You need to exercise the brain. You need to just write instead of think. Kind of like what I am doing write now. When I started this post, I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to say. I just started with the first thing that came to my mind. If you think about what people ask you, it usually can be the thing you write about it. If someone asks you how to do something, chances are more people want to ask you too. They just don't.

I think they only thing more flattering than people buying my book and reviewing it for me, is those who ask me how they too can write a book like I did. That to me was a gift I didn't know I would get it. I honestly set out to write this book for me. I wanted to share my story. I knew that if I did, someone out there would realize they are not alone. They may even relate to the stories I shared. Turns out, I was right. I have had many people reach out and tell me how much they related to my stories. They even shared parts of their stories. They related to things I wish they couldn't. That just goes to show you how much people hide behind their sadness. It should tell you that your story matters too. The longer you wait to share it, the longer someone else feels alone.

So what are you waiting for? Share your story.

Start writing.