Actions Don't Always Speak Louder

I recently learned something about myself that I suppose I always knew, but I never took the time to really think about it. I value what people say more than their actions. Especially what people tell me specifically. When someone tells me they don't like me, I believe them. When someone says "I'll be right back." I expect them to come back. Now obviously there are nuances to pay attention to, but for the most part, if you say something to me, I will believe that is how you feel and what you mean.

Actions can be confusing. Anyone can buy gifts, get your mail, give you a ride or help you out. But words, they have meaning. It really can be as easy as a switch for me. If you lie to me, that is on you not me. If I get mad at you for not doing something you said you were going to do, how is that my fault? It can be really frustrating when you have expectations from people and then they don't follow through. It is probably one of the most difficult parts of any relationship with people. Both parties will have expectations based on the communication shared. When one party falls through on their part, it can damage the trust in that relationship. The more expectations are crushed, the more a person starts to lose faith in that person. Eventually, there will only be so much a person can take and then that friendship ends or that marriage. Maybe it's your sibling, parent or even your boss. We have all kinds of relationships with people. It is important that we do what we say and we continue to learn and grow.

It goes without saying that we all make mistakes. We all screw things up and we all lie sometimes. The important part is to make sure if we have someone in our lives we care about, we make the effort to keep that relationship, grow with it and nuture it. Some people will need more help then others. Some people are very damaged and have a hard time believing someone can actually love them and not hurt them. That is why my favorite quote is:

"Love me when I am at my worse, because that is when I need it the most."

People need to have more sympathy and understanding. We are all going through something. If you give people the benefit of the doubt, you might be pleasantly surprised how less angry you become in life.

Be Kind.

Reading With Three Kids Around

When you are a mom, all your hobbies are on the back burner. But they don't have to be non-existent. I find my little pockets of time throughout my day to do mine, read! I read three books at a time. All for different occasions. I have a physical book for when I am at home on my couch or hammock, my audio book is saved for walks, car rides or laundry and my Kindle fits perfectly in my purse and is great to pull out during my day when I am out! It is all about balance.

I make it a point to spend time with my kids and then when they are off on a playdate or doing their own thing, that's when I pick up a book! I don't often do chores or cook during those times. I save those times for the kids to help out and be with me so we do it together. This teaches them how to be responsible for household chores and we work together so they learn compromise and good manners. Sure it is much easier to do it alone sometimes but then how will they learn?

My message for today is don't live like you have lost yourself. Find ways to be who you are mother or not. It is still important to make yourself happy and live life the way you want!

Choose Happy!

Pairing New Habits With Old Ones

Do you want to change something in your life? Maybe it's adding a vitamin to your diet or adding some exercise? Perhaps you want to stop eating by 8 pm or make time for reading. In my new book, I talk about how you can change your habits by incorporating your new practices with old ones. Think about something you do every day without fail. For me, it is brushing my teeth. I do it twice daily, every morning and night, no matter what. This gives me two opportunities to add or change new habits I want more quickly.

About two months ago now, I started a new medication. It is best taken in the morning. I am not good at remembering things for myself, so I knew I would have to incorporate this new change effectively so I don't forget to take it. This is why my medicine bottle now resides next to my toothbrush holder. It is a visual stimulus to remind me that I also take medicine when brushing my teeth.

My kids brush their teeth at nighttime, no later than 8 pm. While I used to do this much later than them, I decided also to start doing it at the same time so

I avoid eating late at night. ( I'm working on changing my health) This small change is how I have lost my bloating and am starting to lose some weight! We won't need energy at night; we need to get rest. Therefore, we don't need to eat a stack of cookies or a bag of chips right before bed. *Bonus tip: If you tend to get nightmares like myself, I also find that not eating at night can help!

I hope you find these ideas helpful in your own life to make that change you have been looking for. The small things add up to be very big ones sometimes!