Being a mom is already an extremely hard job. It is a title that will never go away. You cannot resign, take a leave of absence or switch jobs to something less demanding. Once you become a mother, you are locked in. It is the best job and the most difficult one too. Two things can be correct at the same time. You can be a mom and also still be you. It can be the hardest thing and also be the most rewarding.
It can be so easy to lose yourself in the identity of motherhood. The more people you need to take care of besides yourself, the more you forget who you are without your kids. This also makes it more important to not lose your sense of self. In fact, it is almost more of a reason that you need to not forget who you are.
When we make something our everything, and then lose it, we have nothing. One day our kids will move on, move out. They will find their own way in life. They will not always needs us as much as they do while growing up. Why wait until then to embrace your hobbies, friends and lifestyle?
Instead of using our kids as the excuse of why we aren’t doing something, why not use them as the reason for why we are doing it? Why not show them that we are more than just their mom but that we are people too. We have wants, needs and desires. Why not show them there is more than just being a parent and catering to their every need. Why not show them how to care for others and ourselves? Modeling behavior is one of the best ways for others to learn.
That way one day, when they go off on their own, whether they become parents themselves or not, they may just see more than the identity we give ourselves but also a person behind that job. Someone who wants to live a life they can love and cherish.
Let's show them how much more there is to life. How much adventure is out there and ready to be had. Let’s show them how to embrace everything we have. Because we all only get one chance at this thing called life.
Let’s not waste it.
Do you ever look at someone else's life and think “How come I don’t live like that?”, “Why is her house always so clean?”, “Why don’t I have that decorative eye?”
I think like that sometimes. Especially when I want to redecorate, which my husband will tell you is a lot. Its not even necessarily redecorating but more of moving the furniture around. I just cant seem to have the same layout for too long. It drives me crazy.
But when I see another moms home, and I mean in real life, I sometimes think, why don't I have that eye for really sleek, clean aesthetic. Why is my space like a kid came in and just threw shit on the wall? Why is there no theme or neutral color?
My spaces are colorful and bright. They are messy and lived in. They display so many unfinished projects and glitter that will never be removed.
Why is this mess, my life?
I think having ADHD is partly the reason. But I also think that part of it is because my brain is constantly in creative mode. I am always thinking of a new project, or a new hobby to start or add to. I am also in active mode.
Sometimes I feel like I thrive on chaos.
Maybe I am just used to it.
I am not sure what the right answer is but I will say that as much as it may look like a cluttered disaster to others, I know where everything is.
I also know that the next best idea is just waiting to be worked on!
Check out my book: "Choose Happy"
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